What the Butler saw! Buzzing Round! Naked Butler, Ben
I was at my first sweltering hot BBQ for the summer, lucky for me the apron offered a flowing cool breeze while I worked the crowd offering iced fruit cocktails to refresh the guests. The chef shouted for some assistance with the food, I quickly placed my drinks tray on a tree stump in the middle of the lawn, and dashed off to serve the delicious BBQ. With the guest enjoying the food I returned to my drinks tray. As I lifted the tray to my horror I released a nest of hot, angry wasps who’d been trapped within the tree stump. They swarmed out of the hole and swooped after me as I frantically ran up and down the garden, flapping my apron wildly in an attempt to save my crown jewels from being stung, much to the delight and amusement of the guests! Thank god I only parked my tray on the stump and not my bottom! I'll always leave the cream at home in future! Naked Butler, Sam
I was asked to step in at the last minute to butler at a garden party, and of course I jumped at the chance! It’s was a beautifully hot July day, perfect for a garden party. These days are the best, as you can imagine it can get a bit cold down below in the winter months, this was going to be a total blast! However dashing off to the party in such a rush of excitement I totally forgot to apply any sunscreen!
With the drinks flowing, the live music playing and my toned body on show, I could tell by the smiles all the ladies were having a fantastic day. Three hours later a rather stunning lady approached me mentioning I was indeed turning rather pink in places that don’t usually get to see the light of day. She came closer and whispered into my ear ‘come upstairs and I’ll caress the cream into those muscles’. All of a sudden there were roars of laughter as the ladies dug into their bags and waved cream at me. Before I could kindly refuse there had been a raffle started to apply the sunscreen to save me any further pain! These ticket sales raised over £200 pounds for charity! But the real treat Being the soft touch of the winning woman’s hand applying the cream! Maybe I’ll always leave my cream at home! The nurses were very keen I have a full body examination! Naked Butler, Kai The Company rang and told me ‘Kai, we’ve booked you to appear at a nursing home on Friday night. It’s a surprise 80th party’ for one of the ladies’. Well, I thought, even at 80 my gran was up for a bit of fun, so I guess these ladies can still appreciate a good view! I followed the address details carefully but, it didn’t look like a nursing home to me. But, who’s to say? So I whipped off the tracksuit and rang the bell. The door was answered by a gorgeous young female dressed in a nurse’s uniform. It looked like a nursing home but the music coming from inside wasn’t what I expected at all. Then another nurse appeared but she was a little more scantily dressed. It was then that I discovered that the booking office had got things a little mixed up. Instead of an 80th birthday at a nursing home, I was booked in at an 18th birthday at a student nurses home, where there were around 20 female student nurses all in minimal nurses uniforms welcoming me in with open arms, there were plenty of offers for a head to toe examination should I want one! Getting out a limo is tricky, when all your wearing is an apron! Naked Butler, John Although our company gets lots of bookings for limo outings, this was my first experience of going down town in a limo full of girls. My job was to serve the drinks and chocolates to perfection en route. Six girls filled the stretch limousine with giggles and laughter, celebrating Carly’s 21st birthday. By the time I served the third bottle of champagne they were getting quite boisterous. Having a virtually naked man in the confined space definitely added to their decibel level.
I work out a lot and have a nicely toned body, body hair doesn’t look good on a butler, so I shave it off my torso. Now this intrigued the girls and I could hear them whispering and giggling things like ‘do you think he’s shaved all over?’
Two hours passed very quickly and, in no time at all we were at our destination. Carly asked if she could have some photos with me on arrival and I obliged. With cameras flashing, I carefully got out of the limo, struggling to keep everything concealed ( I’m not sure if its just me but the Butlers2Go apron I wear is rather on the small side!).
Immediately after, I heard hilarious giggling as the girls gathered together to view the shots. I walked over to see what was so funny when I realised that not only had my apron let me down, but another of the ladies had managed to get an ‘up-the-apron shot’! So I guess they longer need to ask if I'm clean shave all over!! Was there a raise for Santa’s helper? Naked Butler, Ged I was one of two butlers hired for the office Xmas party of an insurance company. Our job, as butlers, was to dress in our mini aprons, add a bit of fun for the girls by showing our bare bums and to serve the drinks and canapés. The party guests were primarily women but there were a few men, who mostly gave us a wide berth. The plan was that, after a couple of hours of drinking and chatting, we butlers were to pop on elves hats and assist Santa by giving out presents to everyone. But, as the appointed time got closer it was clear that Santa wasn’t coming and the guests began to look very disappointed. I said, we’ll I’m happy to be the Santa if you’ve got a costume for me. Well, that brought an instant round of applause and I was the hero of the piece; at least with the ladies. There was no santa outfit available, but one girl donated her santa’s hat and another draped tinsel around my neck. So, there I sat, in my apron and new adornments with happy ladies sitting on my lap whispering in my ear what they’d really like for Xmas. Unbeknown to them, I wear only an apron; nothing on other than that. As they each sat, in turn, on my lap, I seriously hoped I wouldn’t embarrass myself as these gorgeous ladies wriggled around! Butler Mark This was a different kind of booking for me. To bring something a little different and special to a late night ladies’ shoe shop promotion in London, I was asked to provide a butler service to the guests and serve drinks and canapès. I got busy offering drinks and canapés to the guests but it felt really strange because whenever I offered refreshments to the ladies, no-one looked me in the eye. Instead of them looking at me, as they usually do, when I smile and offer refreshments, almost everyone looked down at the floor. I thought I must have grown a big spot on my chin or something and was pretty puzzled by it throughout the evening. Still, the event went well and there was a real buzz about the place. At 9:30pm, when the shop had emptied, I spoke to the owner and commented on how strange it seemed. The guests had appeared to enjoy the refreshments and had bought a lot of shoes, but no-one had engaged with me, they’d all looked down at the floor. After expressing my concern, the proprietor simply laughed and said that the evening had been a huge success and my naked butler service had brought a great, new dimension to the promotion. “No”, she grinned, “you haven’t grown an ugly spot on your face, you simply gave the guests a very special view of yourself. Have you not noticed the angled floor mirrors? They’ve been giving the ladies a wonderful view of your assets whenever you served them!” Butler Steve I was booked to perform at a Pre Going Out Party in a suite of rooms at a swanky hotel in London. Of course, I can’t travel in my butler outfit – I’d either be arrested or accosted. So, when I arrived, the hostess should me to the bathroom where I could change.” I do like to look good for my clients, so I peeled off my clothes and got oil out of my bag to rub into my toned body and muscles. I stood admiring my body in the mirror as I eased the oil all over my skin. I had just finished and was about to put on my apron when a voice said, “You’ve missed a bit there with the oil, shall I rub it in?” I realised then that I was definitely not alone. There, in the bath, up to her neck in bubbles, was a gorgeous, young blonde. With that, she stepped out of the bath, grabbed a towel to wipe her hand, and then picked up the oil and rubbed a little into my back. When I heard Sarah call through the door, “Steve, are you ready? We’re dying of thirst”. So, I popped on my apron, collar and shoes, and went out to meet the guests. But not before my mystery blonde said, “I’ll see you later, big boy”. I caught snippets of the conversation and me and my toned body was clearly the main topic. Occasionally, I’d feel a hand and well manicured fingers grip my buttock and give it a squeeze. Once or twice, a hand would start to search under my apron, but I’d move off to my next duty! In no time at all, it was 9:30pm and the girls all scattered to their rooms to prepare for the night clubbing. I tidied up and then went to the bathroom to change for my journey home. There, awaiting me in the bathroom, was my blonde friend and she wasn’t exactly dressed for clubbing. “I told the others that I’d meet them at the club. Now take off that apron and show me that there’s more to you than being a great butler”. Butler Paul "I was at a big corporate ladies dinner night in London with about 5 other butlers on the lead up to Christmas. We were mainly serving the wine to the ladies at the table whilst the normal everyday waiters served the dinner. I had noticed every time I went past this lady on the end of a long table that she stopped me for more wine and a bit of a chat. They had just got to the after dinner speeches so everyone was looking towards the speaker. I was standing near her table with the wine bottle in my hands ready to top people up, when suddenly I felt something cold and smooth pass quickly between my cheeks – I spun quickly round to see what it was and saw this lady grinning at me as she held her credit card aloft! “Are you hoping for cash back with that madam? “ I enquired with a wink. Butler Mike“I was doing a ladies 35th birthday garden party up near Manchester. The grounds of this big house were immaculate, they had a couple of big gazebos and I was meeting and greeting everyone with bubbly as they came in. The hostess was very friendly and charming with everyone, but she had a wicked twinkle in her eye when she laughed – I should have paid more attention to this. The party really started to get going after her friends surprised her with a Fireman stripper. But strippers are always very quick – they like to rev the ladies right up and then just leave and he was done in about 15 minutes so he had left and all the ladies were in really high spirits looking for the next laugh. The hostess came over for a chat and thanked me for looking after everyone so well. She asked if I had time to “Just open a couple more bottles of bubbly”? before my time was up I said “Sure, no problem.” and turned round to pick one up off the table – as soon as I turned away I heard this snip and felt my apron drop to th ground and there I suddenly was in full glory as a new potential fireman! Butler Pete“It was my first butler party so the company put me with another very experienced butler on a big manor house do – where a business lady was entertaining her friends. We had been asked to take care of the meeting and greeting as guests came out into the marquee out back by offering them strawberry champagne, then afterwards just to go round offering drinks and canapés and chatting to everyone. I was really enjoying chatting to everyone, they were all so friendly. One lady asked me to pose for photos with her whilst her friend took the pictures, then they swapped over. Matt the other butler had told me that they always like to take loads of photos of you so it came as no surprise. First the photos were in the marquee, then out in the garden, by the fountain, then in the downstairs entrance. These two were draping themselves over me with great enthusiasm – I assumed for the benefit of showing their friends later. I think it only dawned on me that they had another agenda when the one who was holding the camera said “How do you feel about some interesting photos upstairs?” “Umm, I’m afraid I mustn’t neglect the other guests “ I said as I headed swiftly back out into the garden. Butler Simon“I was serving canapés at a very mixed age hen party. There were ladies from 18 to 40ish there. As I was new to being a butler I was kind of expecting a bit of cheeky trouble from the younger ones. I felt sure all the older ladies would be very well behaved. The hens aunts were wanting me to pose with each of them for a photo and were busy making a space for me on the sofa. So I put the canapés on the side table and I sat down in the gap. To my surprise I found I was sitting on a hand, which then gave me a little squeeze. The hen was passing by with her camera at this point so rather than embarrass her aunt by drawing attention to what aunty had done (either inadvertently or otherwise) I put my arm round her aunt and leaned in with a big cheeky smile whilst she took a snap of us together on the sofa. When the photos appear on Facebook, I wonder if the aunt will ever let on about what we found so amusing? Butler Jamie“I was meeting and greeting guests at a fairly mixed age hen party. Giving the ladies all a glass of bucks fizz as they came in. The majority of the 30 or so guests had arrived and there were just a few ladies standing out in the reception area having a chat with me near my table. As I popped open another bottle of champagne the cork flew up, hit the ceiling and dropped back down landing in front of this group of ladies. I apologised for the near miss and bent down to pick it up. I suddenly felt a cool hand give my buttock a cheeky squeeze as the voice of the bride to be’s mother said “Wow they make them better now than in my day!” “Perhaps madam you’d like to work as a quality tester for our company ?” I asked. Butler Tom“The party was well underway, I’d been mixing and pouring cocktails for over an hour. The hostess wanted to play a game or two with her guests and asked me if I would help? “Certainly – what do you want me to do?” I said.”” We are going to play chocolate Pictionary – all you have to do is be the canvas. Ok I said, not really understanding Pictionary. The hens obviously did. They quickly got into two teams - one team were to draw on my chest, the other on my back, each team picked a card and one artist from each team started drawing their image in chocolate body paint on my torso- it was a bit ticklish! The sand timer ran out just as the chest team guessed their image – they seemed to have won the game. “Oh no girls ! The really wild card” said the hostess “Is that the team who lick all of the chocolate off him the quickest are the true winners! Click here for more tales
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