Essex Naked Butler Cliff:  Never selfish with his shellfish. 

After a long hot week working in a London bank I was delighted to be asked to do refreshments at a ladies picnic down on the beach at Hayling Island, Hampshire. I hopped onto the Waterloo train to Havant and then joined the small hen party by taking a taxi to the beach at Hayling. Here I easily spotted my group of young ladies because of the nautical outfits they were all wearing. They'd arrived just minutes before me and were very pleased to see my well worked muscles as I stripped down to butler gear on the shingly sands. 

It was a hot day so I started to apply my suncream. I certainly didn't want to burn my cheeks. Soon the ladies came round offering to rub it in and before I knew it all 8 of them were enthusiastically smoothing it into my skin! One called Marie topped it off by dropping a sailors hat onto my head and getting one of the hens to take a photo of us together.

Then I set to work unpacking the hamper , pouring everyone a glass of bubbly and offering their finest picnic foods around among the guests. After a dessert of strawberries and cream we all sang a few songs and someone proposed we collected some shells to write "Happy last weekend Of Freedom Lisa" on the sand for our hen group photo. (Got to have something for Facebook!)

We all paired off to collect hand fuls of shells to do the message with. Marie and I were collecting ours from a rock pool near a sand dune. Our hands were full and there were still more available in this pool we had found, so Marie put her catch in my apron pocket and then quickly gathered the last few out of the pool and we headed back.

We were the last ones  to return, so much of the message had been written. But we added our catch to it as I tipped out the contents of my apron pocket onto the sand , Marie placed them onto the message - carefully forming each letter. She was still a few shells short, so she put her hand in my apron pocket to see if there were any left in there she could use . As she felt about a wicked little smile played across her face........."Is that a mussel, a cockle, or just a winkle I've found in your pocket Cliff? " She asked.