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Naked Butler, Butler Jay |
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Butler Jay _ Would you like a cup cake Madam? I was one of 2 butlers hired for the afternoon divorce party of a female lawyer in Piccadilly. She'd booked a private room at The London Pavillion for 20 female friends who all came bearing gifts of fun, to lift her spirits. Our job was to dress in our very short butler aprons, add a bit of sparkle for the ladies by showing our toned pecs and bare cheeks and to serve the drinks and cup cakes with charm and panache.After an hour of drinking and chatting, we butlers were asked to put on Alice in Wonderland hats and offer the cup cakes around to everyone. These cup cakes were a work of art! They were absolutely enormous, piled high with butter cream and a variety of decorations, all beautifully presented in colour matched, ornate ,cut away cake cases. There were 6 trays of them ..... surely 20 ladies couldn't eat all those?. (We made a bet they wouldn't)But as we offered the trays round again and again it was becoming clear that the guests had an insatiable appetite for these delicious cup cakes. One lady asked if I would just leave her an entire tray! She placed it on the sofa next to her. I went to get another tray to offer round the remaining guests. I was just offering them to a group near the sofa when I noticed a heavily pregnant lady turn white. I quickly said "Are you ok madam? Would you like some water?" But before she could answer she fainted. Luckily I was close enough to catch her as she fell, but it tipped me off balance and I staggered backwards suporting her weight, landing on a vacant sofa seat............well nearly vacant - it was occupied by a tray of cakes which I landed right in the middle of! I'm pleased to say that the pregnant lady had a lovely soft landing on me and was fine within two minutes of waking up. My bum was totally covered in cream cake, which looked very funny! So many kind, helpful ladies came and helped clean me up too!
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The Challenges Of a Party Bus!Hi Although our company gets lots of bookings for limo outings, fire engines, fun ambulances etc. This was my first experience of going out in a party bus full of ladies. They were running an hour late having been partying for several hours on a tour of the local pubs. My job was simply to serve the drinks and canapes with style and charm en route. I looked forward to a fairly straightforward party.....hopefully.They arrived in the bus station car park with a grinding of brakes and shreiks of joy as I climbed on board. There were 20 welcoming and friendly ladies in the bus, celebrating Becca's 30th Birthday. They had visited many pubs and were getting quite boisterous. Having a virtually naked, highly toned man in the confined space definitely added to their excitement.The food was offered first as they had just had a drink in the last pub. Soon after this I found out that they were a very hands on group of ladies and nearly lost my apron as we lurched round another bend balancing a tray of bubbly in one hand and clutching the hanging strap with the other . They noticed my near miss and after that , saw it as an endless opportunity for some fun and giggles. It ties at the back in a bow and whenever both my hands were occupied (which was most of the time on a lurching bus ride) it became a bit of a game to them to try and loosen the strings and create an embarassing accident for me. I charmingly joked and smiled my way through all their naughty antics for much of the trip, until I had a brainwave ......and double knotted the strings! After that I felt much more secure.........and I was heartily relieved to reach our destination in one piece!
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Naked Butler, Butler Will |
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Butler Will _ what cheek! Hi, my names Will. Although you need to be very fit, sociable and good looking for this work, You quickly learn to be very open minded too. Take last week for instance : I had a very strange party assignment to do in Battersea. I was told it was a ladies coffee morning. These have so far ranged from Baby Showers and Birthdays where everyone is swapping gifts to Divorce Parties where they are either spray painting or playing tug of war with their ex husband’s suits (till they rip them to shreds).When I arrived at this one though there initially seemed to have been a vow of silence taken by the 8 participants (I was afraid maybe it would turn out to be a wake for somebody’s recently departed grandmother.) I was shown a room where I could change, then I made all the ladies fresh coffee and handed it around on a silver tray- They looked me up and down discretely and smiled approvingly and sipped their coffees quietly. Then there was a bit of whispering and giggling that I couldn’t quite make out or really understand.Then the hostess asked if I could iron by any chance . Somewhat puzzled I answered “Yes certainly madam – is there something special you need ironing?” “Oh yes please!” she replied and proceeded to point me at the most enormous pile of ironing I’ve ever seen! The strangest part of all was that I ironed for nearly the whole two hours I was there, facing the corner of the room. The ladies chatted happily away whilst I ironed and apart from the odd bright flash of light now and again (which was rather like a camera flash) , the morning passed very calmly indeed.After I finished all the ironing, all the other ladies in the group wanted to book me for their ironing coffee mornings too. I’m really not too sure to this day , whether they wanted me for my ironing skills or my cute cheeks!
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Butler James sees it all!Hi I'm James. I love women and parties, so for me butlering is an ideal way of life. I've been doing it for 2 years now. I have got to admit I thought I'd seen nearly everything as a butler , when lo and behold, those lovely ladies surprised me yet again! I had been doing a very refined garden party in Epsom on a hot June day last year. The guests ranged in age from 18 to about 80 and we were about half way through the afternoon. The ladies were all on their 2nd or 3rd round of iced fruit spritzers. The mountain of salmon sandwiches and cupcakes has all been devoured. The group I had just come over to with my tray of drinks were sitting and lying in sun loungers in the shade of a large silver weeping willow tree down by a smalll fishing lake. There was a very pleasant breeze coming off the lake which helped cool everyone down a little.Two of the most elderly adies in the group of 8 had fallen asleep in the heat. I offered the fresh drinks around to those that were awake and turned to place the remaining 2 drinks near to their sleeping owners - when suddenly one of the two ladies sat bolt up right, rubbed her eyes and then dropped her false teeth straight into the glass I had just placed next to her!She clearly thought it was bed time and so rolled over and went straight back to sleep!
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Naked Butler, Butler Phil |
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Phil can fix it! Hi my name's Fix it Phil - you'll soon see why. One day last winter I was at a big country mansion doin a murder mystery hen night. When suddenly one of the ladies burst into tears because she'd lost her ruby earring through the cast iron railings that encased a suit of armour in the main hall where we were doing a banquet style supper. I quickly put down my wine flaggon an rushed to her aid. It didn't look like too much of a problem, I could get my head through the railings to see where the earring was without too much trouble. Then I managed to get my arm through to reachthe earring. I just had it within my grasp when I realised I couldn't get my head back out! I wouldn't have minded normally, but you can imagine the scene can't you? Naked butler with head stuck in railings, naked rear end sticking out into a room full of ladies - I felt a bit vulnerable! They tried to pulll me out, first one way then the other and although I suspect they quite enjoyed my predicament (there was a lot of giggling and I even saw the flash of a camera!) they soon realised that they needed help to get me out - so they called the fire brigade! Twenty minutes later and they arrived with sirens blaring and lights flashing. I wished a hole in the ground would just open and swallow me up! Those guys sure had a laugh at me before they got me out! I have honetly never felt quite so embarrassed. But the ladies said for them it was absolutely the best hen night they had ever had - they got not only a hunky naked butler for their murder mystery night but two hunky firemen thrown in too - for free! |
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Jays Naked NapH my name's Jay. I'm a fitness centre manager in the day time and on my evenings off - when I'm not in the gym I like to use my muscled physique and Brad Pitt looks to earn a bit of extra money.One Friday in June it had been a very stressful day at work - an old lady appeared to have died in the jacuzzi - nobody could rouse her. The reception staff called an ambulance and they arrived just in time to see her waking up! I was hauled over the coals by the senior managers for call the ambulance - but what else coud we do - she looked like she'd died!Anyway, later that evening I was butlering at a BBQ and pool party in Ongar, Essex. The ladies were all having a Mexican theme night, so had ordered a Tex Mex to eat and I was to serve it, mix sime Tequilla Sunrises and generally ensure everyone had a great time round the pool. We had done the food and the first couple of rounds of drinks, posed for Facebook hen night album photos and then the ladies all began larking around in the water. They invited me in too and someone shot some more photos. I started to realise that the camera constantly flashing and the earlier day time stress with the old lady - was all building up to a terrible migraine. Just as I came to the end of my two hour slot I was sure I would pass out if I didn't lie down. So I asked the hostess if I could lie down for an hour some where quiet and dark before I tackled the 2 hour drive home.She was happy for me to sleep on the sofa in the small lounge away from the main party, so I gratefully slipped in there and lay straight down. I must've tossed and turned a bit as my apron somehow moved completely round the back, leaving me completely uncovered whilst I slept. This wouldn't have been a problem except that an hour later a group of girls who had come in to dry and change thought this room was empty. They switched on the lights and to their shock and mine, found a naked guy on their friends sofa. There was a lot of screaming, them giggling as they watched me hastily cover what was left of my dignity - one even took a cheeky snap! I sure hope that one doesn't end up on Facebook!
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Naked Butler, Butler Mike |
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Butler Mike plays Easter BunnyButler Mike was excited to be doing a party at such a big Jacobean Mansion. The place was wooden panelled, high ceilinged and it totally bowled him over with its grand entrance and sweeping double staircase with suit of armour and broadsword at the bottom. It was furnished with large showy pieces of dark oak furniture and grand looking, gold framed family portraits adorning all the walls. A group of ladies had hired it for Easter weekend and wanted to make their hen weekend different from start to finish. Mikes part in the weekend was first to meet and greet all the ladies as they arrived with a glass of bubbly. He did this with all his usual charm and panache. And as soon as he had them all relaxed and laughing at his jokes, his next assignment was to serve them all pizza and then whilst they were eating it he was to take a basket of chocolate eggs out into the grounds and hide them in very unusual places. He had just ten minutes then they would be out there hunting for them as they had to complete the hunt before the light went. He had hidden some in the flower beds, some in the hands of a Greek statue, some in the fountain and some in the dove cote . He still had two left and wanted to make them particularly hard to find, so he surveyed the garden critically. Finally he spotted what he was looking for – a big old oak tree. He was extremely fit so climbing an oak tree was only a small challenge to his ample muscles. He quickly heaved himself up into its lowest branches looking for a low down fork he could balance the eggs in. He found the spot he wanted and placed the eggs carefully so they wouldn’t roll off, then he backed cautiously away and was about to swing himself down again when he realised his apron was tangled up on a branch. He started trying to free himself but as he tugged, he lost his footing and slipped right out of the tree, landing in a heap on the grass below. He looked up unhurt but most surprised to find several pairs of female eyes smiling down on him - unfortunately for Mike though his apron was still caught in the tree! |
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Jumping Jack FlashThis had to be the strangest hen party Butler Jack had done so far. When Jack turned up he noticed straight away that all the hens were wearing colourful check trimmed narrow waisted, full skirted 50s style dresses, false eye lashes, long haired wigs and sparkly shoes with bows each matching the colour of their dresses. The place had been themed with home made Wizard of Oz style props, such as a large representation of the Tin Man in one corner made out of cardboard boxes and tin foil. In another corner there was a scarecrow made from straw and stuffed clothes, with a small toy dog at its feet. The penny finally dropped – they were all Dorothys! Jack didn’t have a clue what the evening would hold except that he’d been asked to serve drinks, then some enormous hideously decorated cup cakes and help with some old fashioned games. He changed and got busy serving the drinks. The girls all wanted cocktails in keeping with the theme.......His Toto Teasers went down a treat! At last it came to the old fashioned games. Jack discovered he had to compete with all the girls at a pogo – off . The girls cleared all the furniture to the edges of the room and got the two pogo sticks out – sitting themselves round the edges of the room on the floor cushions. It shouldn’t be too hard he thought after all he was extremely fit, due to working out 5 nights a week. His muscles rippled all over his torso in anticipation. He faced 10 worthy opponents down – having to go through a series of strenuous jumps, twirls and hops against each whilst never putting a foot on the ground . Which meant he had to be jumping the whole time. He had made it through every single heat, beating every hen at the party. There was great applause each time he out poggoed yet another opponent. His considerable muscles were aching with pain when they finally crowned him the outright winner of the pogo off. What he didn’t realise for a while was that all the hens had each taken a dive so that they could keep him in the competition and on the pogo stick as long as possible throughout the whole event . Their floor level seating made it especially attractive for him not to drop out of the competition too soon!
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